When I finally decided to build my own business, the conversation in my head was not philosophical.
It was direct: “So start the bloody business.”
By then I had made thousands of decisions. Some affected an entire company, its employees, its customers and its future. Quite often I made them without all the information I would have liked. That is part of being responsible for something. You assess what you know, weigh the consequences, trust your judgement and decide. Sometimes you get it right. Sometimes you only find out much later.
I have never believed good leadership means always having the right answer. It means being willing to make the decision, take responsibility for it and change course when the evidence tells you to.
What fascinates me is how differently we do this when the decision concerns our own lives.
When the decision is yours
I have helped build businesses for much of my career. Building my own feels entirely different.
This time, I’m it!
There is no management team, no employees and no organisation around me. I am not working towards changing that either. It is exactly what I decided I wanted. A one-woman business. If I need specialist help, I will bring in someone independent for the work. I want to use the technology available to us, including AI, and build something digital that eventually generates income without needing my constant presence.
Not just enough to pay the bills, but a business that supports the life I want to live. One where income and working hours are no longer permanently tied together.
I know this does not happen overnight. It takes work, experimentation and a willingness to find out that some of your ideas are not as good as you thought. But the decision about what I wanted to build was clear from the start.
That is the biggest difference between this business and those I have helped build before. I am no longer starting with what an organisation needs from me. I am starting with what I want my life to look like.
The decisions that don’t appear on a business plan
Some of my harder decisions recently have had very little to do with business.
I have decided to step away from relationships that no longer have a healthy place in my life. I have become much more selective about where I spend my time and who I spend it with. And I have decided to stop accepting responsibilities simply because I am capable of handling them.
That last one has taken some getting used to.
Professionally, saying no has never been difficult for me. I have always been comfortable setting boundaries, challenging decisions and explaining why something is not going to happen.
Privately, it has been a different story.
I have said yes when I wanted to say no. I have taken on things I did not want to do. I have made room for other people’s needs when I should have been paying attention to my own.
And I know I am not alone in that. Almost every woman I speak to has, at some point, told me the same.
It is remarkable how easily we get used to arrangements that no longer work for us. Nobody is forcing us to stay. Changing them just feels more uncomfortable than continuing.
Until, eventually, it doesn’t.
I am still living with some of these decisions. Others are works in progress. Deciding to do something does not mean the circumstances fall into place. But I no longer confuse a decision with a guarantee. I can be certain of the direction without knowing exactly how or when I will get there.
The decision you already know about
Most of us spend more time looking for reassurance than asking what we actually want.
We tell ourselves we need more information, more time, a better plan, a little more certainty. Sometimes we do. But often we are postponing a decision because we understand what making it would require of us.
Perhaps it is a career you have outgrown. A business you have wanted to start. A responsibility you no longer want to carry. A life that looks perfectly fine from the outside but no longer feels right to you.
I can’t tell you which decision to make. Nor would I want to.
But you know which one I mean.
Make the decision. Then make something of it.
Pia, I love this. It will be a journey for sure and this is a great place to do it all together! 🤎
We can do it easily for other people because it is not our personal identity on the line. It is way different to say it when your own identity is on the line.